Now, that you are here, let’s dive in. I am left in awe each time I hear someone say, “Now that I am married, I  cannot be friends with single people”. The sheer hypocrisy and ignorance  that belies that statement makes my stomach churn. Why do you bother with friends who cannot survive marriage?

While I know some friendships last only a  phase, to lose a good one on account of a gold band and unfounded conspiracy theories just makes you a pinhead.

Most men get to keep their BRO after the marriage, even two divorces and  three mistresses later. In few cases, we have the new wife telling him to stop seeing one or two friends she had no qualms pounding yam for while she was girlfriend and he/them in turn guaranteed her the “Awa Wife Tag” but all this, the man will take under advisement.

But women: many times it forced down their throats. One time,  my boyfriend of seven months blurted out “You are too close to Angela, I feel like you are dating her and befriending me…”

For a while, I didn’t even have the response to that, the duo had never met, I didn’t  understand the rivalry.

You can’t hate Angela except you are possessed, she is the kind of friend God gives you just to show off, the 2am friend. The funniest part was that she was responsible for the new improved packaged me this boyfriend was enjoying and here I was asked to choose: a friend or a ring?

Some women on the other hand have no dilemma to deal with, just conditioning from men and other women that once you marry, you are superior and a battle line is drawn. So they keep all the friends till the wedding so they can buy the heavy priced aso-ebi and once ceremony is over, discard them.

I don’t have any friend who won’t be useful to me after marriage, you need to think long and hard if you do. Plus, I  really don’t know how to take people who say “My husband’s friend will spoil him” or “My wife’s girlfriend will make her look outside” seriously. If someone has that kind of influence on your spouse then you shouldn’t be marrying them.

 

 

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