We know a Facebook gigolo who specializes in dating single mums.  According to ongoing research by coven members, he preys on their desperation to marry, sleeps with them and collects their money.

Once or twice, the man in question impregnated one of these single mum, increased her burden and ran away. Interestingly, these kind of men abound on social media and real life.

Like you already know, Nigeria is a tough place for the single mum, she is  called many sinister names “Second hand”, “after one” she is thought “unfit” and often tormented with shame for the rest of her life. Except she is “rescued by a man” and don’t think the shaming stops, the man just takes some part of it and make her “dignified” again.

Due to this, many men think that marrying  a single mum is doing her a favour, cleaning her shame, in Tyler Perry’s language, saving her life. Hence it is important that the single mum treads carefully, even more than the single girl when it comes to dating and choosing a spouse again. It is important to choose a man who truly  accepts you and your child as the full package.

Here’s a real life story to drive this home, two men approached my friend who is a single mum.

Man A upon meeting her son, “Wow! He is so adorable,

“I will raise him like my own, it doesn’t change how much I love you,

“I still want you, in fact I want both of you”
****hugs and kisses

Man B upon meeting the son, “I can’t believe you have a son, you don’t look it at all,

“Hian! When did you have him? What about the father?

“Ermmmmmmm, I have an emergency, I will call you later.”

By the end of the day, Man A has called like 10times, Man B is still caught up in an “emergency”

Two days later,
Man B calls, “I’m sorry I ran away oh, I swear, I like you but I can’t marry “after one”

He explains further, only, silence would have been more comforting.

Phewwww! Thank God Man A wasn’t that insensitive

3 week later, Man A calls, “Madam, why didn’t you pick your calls since?

“Busy doing what? You took your bastard to the hospital, is that why you didn’t pick my calls?

“Now that you have seen someone that wants to manage you and him, you are misbehaving…”

What should a single mum look out for as she finds a man again?

Share your thoughts.


  1. Who is a single mother? A woman who intentionally, or as a result of unforseen circumstances brings a child into the world and singlehandedly brings it up through ages and stages. It takes a lot for a married lady to cater for a baby, let alone a single mother. Any single mother who perseveres and brings up a child is a gift to any man. They deserve to be celebrated.

  2. …hmmnnn..must a woman marry sef? …abeg learn to love your life! Enjoy your life! One million and one married women out there wont mind swapping positions. I guess the reason most single mom are so desperate to marry ,is because of loneliness. What make you think getting married will cure such ? The secret to finding true love, is first loving yourself truly.

    • Everyone deserves to marry. It’s a call of nature just like sleep and so is sex which is legally done within the context of marriage.

      Getting married cures loneliness if you do it well..

      Being desperate to get marriage is not a sin but it’s need to be done with utmost care. The secret to finding true love is first to love God.

  3. A single Mothers deserves to be happy. We also have single fathers who also face such thing but the pressure is more on the women. It is painful but in this part of the world many people see single mothers in negative light so what I would say is that every single mother should strive to be her own hero. Be independent and love your kids so much. Live a life where you don’t have to depend on a Man or wait till one man comes to marry you again. It’s bad enough a Man put you in that situation, you don’t need another Man making it worse. Be a good woman and don’t waste your time trying to prove it to any Man. The real Man, the one that matters will find you eventually and will stay, treating you and your kid/kids right. Love God, trust him, do your best to be a great woman to yourself and you kids and that light will bring the right man to you.

  4. Biko a single mum is no different from any other lady, she’s a human being and deserves the best… It takes much more than we think to be a single mum, I have some as my friends. It’s never easy. They seriously deserve the best

  5. The real truth is that being a single mother changes nothing. Now, let me break it down. The story above is just an example of a single lady meeting 2 bad guys. What if their execuses were am shock you were not a virgin (like in case B) or you have gone to meet the old customers that deflower you?

    Single mother or not. A woman remains a woman. What I look out for in a woman is the desire to journey with in the marriage and not just frivolities here and there.

    Marriage is more than all that…

  6. She should find happiness in any relationship not favors, nothing about having a child or children without the round object makes you less human

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