Emotional Abuse is serious because it is subtle and can go on for years without anyone noticing it. I pieced together a few lines to explain it.
Everyday when I wake up I do sanitation and rake our gutter. I want to save somebody cos I am truly tired of people who say to their spouses, “I picked you from the gutter”
Only parents can use this phrase, “I made you” It is their sperm, it is their eggs. If a spouse uses those words, he has admitted to incest, arrest him/her.
When he/she say, “Prove to me you love me” remember Jesus gave his life and still not everyone believed. You are not even Jesus, don’t do anything outside your power.
If he says I like the way your friend smiles, say okay. If he says, I want you to smile like your friend. Tell him to make money like Dangote does. We all have alternative tastes.
Except when he was “toasting” you he used the Bible and both of you stood in front of the Oba Palace or either Ayelala, Amadioha, Obatala was present.. In the relationship, if he uses “Cultures, Religion or Tradition to strong-arm you, he is a fraud and a bully.
Only a fool says, “I love you but…
Remember “but” invalidates what has been said already and empowers what is said next. He is either abusing you or tactless.
I will offend you for 2minutes, you will withdraw love and affection for 14 days or until you are tired or need something. That is witchcraft.
Never fall for the “Make me happy” sentence. Happiness is self made and a choice. That is why our fav meal does not have to do anything to be appreciated, just the smell or sight… Draining your account and removing your pants will not make them happy, if your presence can’t. It only satisfies a need. Sadly, man’s needs are insatiable.
Relationship means connecting two or more people, if he/she is asking you to sever all ties with all the people who makes you great, it is no longer a relationship, it is situationship, run!
The Tribal Card is serious. If your spouse emphasizes he wishes you had the mannerism, back side, tastes, culture and traditions of a particular tribe, walk.
One of the few things we can’t change is our ancestry. If he/she thinks yours is a disadvantage, he/she doesn’t deserve you.
You can’t fix the hurt caused by an ex, you can’t replay the joys taken by the ex. She was tea, you are red wine. No comparison.
You are new with your own unique song.
You are not permitted to live in your past let alone someone else’s.
If you need your mother’s/friends/ siblings approval to marry me, hence, I need to form Ekaette. Brother, you need my community ‘s approval too oh. There is no light, we don’t have water.
Don’t refuse food and eat outside, resist sex and sleep outside, refuse money (nobody does that nowadays) and take outside and especially don’t ever blame the other party for making you cheat. Never admit it is your fault, they cheated.
Lastly, Emotional Abuse is real, wrecks even greater havoc than domestic abuse because it targets and diminishes your self esteem. You can’t point out it scars so it is difficult to convince others and sometimes yourself what you are going through. But it is not in your head that he/she makes jokes at your expense or puts you down or makes you you apologize what he did and makes you feel worthless. It is one of the causes of depression and suicidal thoughts.
You are priceless, don’t let anyone make you feel you are the dust under their foot.
Update: Lessons from the Emotional Abuse gist
Both sexes are affected, especially men. Did you see that coming?
People in relationships are hurting more than single folks.
People who have been in a relationship longer are more emotionally abused than newbies.
Emotional Abuse usually starts unconsciously and may appear benign but some people have mastered the act of manipulation
Protect yourself Fam
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