Nigerians men are amazing and comes in different shades and sizes, the article found time to research on perhaps the most complex of them all. The Bachelors.You will find this useful.

The one that used his wife to do his girlfriend 

“Long throat”and a short list of other things  made this one lose the only girl who truly cared about him and now, three years later, he realised he will love no one else. That year, he woke up one morning, “If I can get someone as good as this, I can get better nau” he thought. He got different not better; Or one misunderstanding he should have squashed dragged on for too long. Now he is with a girl and knows in advance he will spend his life with a wife who at best should just be a side chic because his wife is now someone else’s better half.
The good guys but brokenness won’t let them be great
These good guys have their lives mapped out, they will make a fantastic husband to this cute lady, that’s if they don’t lose her to another guy who drives a Jeep, that was the same way the EX left and he didn’t even have the temerity to blame her. It is not her fault, it was poverty’s fault. The broke guy needs a breakthrough, in fact it is long overdue. He wants to proof plenty to his woman and himself.
The 40 years that can’t believe he is no longer 29
It was only yesterday he was 30, either unclezing the entire neighbourhood, being choosy, chasing a career or being clueless. When did he get so old? These veteran bachelors tweak their age to suit the situation, they can get as low as 28 if the target is bubbling with youth and grow like Iroko if the target is close to them. But every other thing betrays them, receding hairline, pot belly, decreasing virility, lack of stamina and ideas as old as Mainframe computers. The ones with a daughter from a previous relationship are the lucky ones. There is consolation in seeing their mini self.
The Misogynist
The Misogynist hates women, and women hate The Misogynist. The Misogynist doesn’t know a whole lot about the other gender, what’s funny is that he did quite well with members of the opposite sex when he was younger but had a bad stint once, the girl treated him like trash and since then his self-esteem was never repaired. But he has to get his mum some grandchildren, so he is searching for one that can’t talk back.
The one that wants his Mama and don’t understand women of nowadays
Closely related to the misogynist, this one wields culture and tradition like steel. Once in a while, he will use religion too in furtherance of his sometimes primitive ideas. He has deep issues, verbally abusive. He will prefer a particular tribe. He believes women of nowadays are the cause of the skyrocketing divorce rate, dearth of morality and values, global warming, ISIS, Cholera and Ebola.
The New Lease of life guy
New Lease of Life Guy is the guy everyone is surprised is not taken but he recently escaped from a bad long term relationship. He never seemed that happy in the relationship, but he didn’t know how to be alone. He still doesn’t but he knows he deserves better and is patiently waiting (he sha cannot kill himself)
The Hopeless ones
No need to waste words late 40s and going. He need the host of angels on his case.
The First Sons
Being the “first strength from the father’s loins” comes with some sacrifices, yes he will be the first to enjoy the goodness of being first in everything but he has to make sure he pays his due before he can get married. Family responsibilities await him and will often be a huge distraction. Not to tackle them to a large extent before marriage will just be termed irresponsible and rebellious.
The Legend of the Fearful and Excuses.
The guy is the chief commitment phobic, he has an array of excuses that doesn’t hold water, he wants to be the CEO of NNPC and travel to Timbuktu, Pluto and the the Sun before he settles down. His girlfriend has lost hope in the perennial procrastinator and zero guarantees warden.
The Complete Incomplete Package
is handsome, smart, works hard, makes enough; he is not doing badly in his awesomeness except he seems to be having a hard time finding—a girl worthy of his greatness. He believes he deserves the best, gorgeous as they come, she turns heads; bursting with charm and charisma, she lights up every room she enters; she’s a brilliant rising star in her career and beloved by her many friends. And that’s just her public personae. At home, she’s fantastic in bed, a spectacular cook, loving, selfless, and devoted. Oh and she also speaks French, plays tennis, sings beautifully, reads voraciously and she’s a history buff. Yes, the woman fit for Complete Package will be the ultimate icing on his cake of perfection. He imagines her often— His Juliet.
What a surprise, Complete Package is single as a lost…. He’s immersed in a fierce battle between his superhuman standards and his terror of being 40 and single—because 40 and single is not supposed to be part of Complete Package.

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1 COMMENT

  1. LOL. I JUST KEPT SEARCHING WHERE I BELONG BUT FOUND NONE IN PARTICULAR, JUST A LITTLE HERE AND A LITTLE THERE. IT WAS FUN READING THOUGH. SOME LINES WERE TRUE BUT FULL OF SARCASM, AND SOME WHERE SINCERE YET IN APPROPRIATELY BLUNT. THIS ARTICLE IS THE BEST I HAVE READ ON ANY BLOG THIS YEAR.

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