O
nly recently, I posted on a Facebook football group I am quite active on and banter is rife and an aggrieved Chelsea fan is there spewing nansense.

Now,  This particular group has zero tolerance for personal attack or insults but it has 25,000 members so we would have to be in Mars not to have some imbeciles here and there. But what got to me was that he picked out a couple of my posts and dropped one liner of insults on the comment sections.
Me?! The e-warrior, the Chief conTROLLer, the Arsenal Voltron. No jokes, I’m so good, my foes are my allies, our love hate relationship is like dating Ijebu people. I have invented e-triangles, I have started Trollfest revolutions, I am an undisputed Banteress. Okay, let me takeet izzy.
But because I am a good christian woman, a few friends and I tried to caution him but he said, the worst that could happen is that we remove him. Ha!

You know how Zuckerville is like Lagos, everywhere leads everywhere? Fiam! I’m on his wall and this guy is normal there. Ehen! Even flowery. Issalie!

I went on a rampage, comment on at least ten of his posts, until we have clarified that he doesnt have the sole patent for silly.

For the life of me, I will never understand folks who have issues in group. Me, I have always settled in. Lies!

Well,  each time I don’t, I had removed myself by myself with myself. However, rebels on Facebook group comes in different shades. The most populous are the Sleeper Cell. Yeah. They are the ones active members complain are inactive. The funny thing is, everyone falls into that category. One time I was afraid that at the rate I was added to groups, someone will just be initiated to witchcraft without knowing. So except you reset your notification settings, you may not get them. Hence, sleepers.

Others include

The Local Yampion:
These people are warlords from their village square. They think they should be reverend once they sneeze in the group. They barge in, take offence if not noticed, leave. They might stay and make sure greenhorns never forget who is veteran.
Note: He/she is often an admin-wannabe, if this one becomes one, una go die.
The Trying Hardist
This one will repeat himself, he aims to be funny or intelligent, he interestingly doesn’t applaud another person’s creativity and takes offence that he is ignored.

The Serious one
This one didn’t get the memo that Facebook is a playground. He or she will insist they accord some respect or title to him. Often this one is an ageist, an ITK and last to get the joke…
The Hawk
Yoruba demons, Nna Mhen and other babes/ guy seeking devourers are in this category. Small banter and they slip into your inbox to show you pictures of a girl eating bananas, morafukas technically. Its a conquest to them.
The professional beggers.
These ones profile folks, look for the ones who seems well to do and befriend them and enter their inbox and beg for favours and money. You haven’t been friends long enough but whatever!

Gbagaun Specialist/Grammar Nazis
Gbagaun specialists are the worse, it is not just folks who have made vows to never use “I before am” we are talking about the son of a gun who releases what you can’t even decipher. Nazis are the bad gang who spot these folks from 50 miles and bring them to book.

The Angry Children
The inspiration for this post belongs to this group. Make no mistake sometimes, adults with no home training start personal insults and drama.  Mr. Condescending, Miss. Touchy, Uncle Hurt Feelings, all belong to this group.

One thing is certain, they need help.
Can you identify more? Have a go at it.

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